A Whimsical Fancy

What if the tastes of the drinking public turned to Thomism? Would beer companies start using the Angelic Doctor as a pitchman? With apologies to my esteemed colleague's brainchild the "BL Smoothman", the following is what I imagine we might see plastered all over the country to encourage plain persons to drink Miller Lite:


Spuds McKenzie, eat your little canine heart out.